This page collects funny or interesting remarks from #scheme on freenode. The quotes don't have to be Scheme or Lisp specific, but centered around the community that evolved on that channel. Similar to scheme-fortune-cookies, this page is in fortune file format.
<chandler> Smerdyakov: your assertion does not match reality. <Smerdyakov> chandler, that doesn't matter. What is under discussion is the assertion. % <mmmdonuts> slava, she had come with a couple of other salespeople (also female) from their company to learn more about the product in question, which their company had just acquired from our company. So I spent some time at this meeting surrounded by three apparently adoring women asking questions and hanging on my answers. I had another guy come past and ask me what my secret was. :) % <bjblaz> sarahbot: you're such a ho <sarahbot> Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a ho? Yes. <asymptonic> sarahbot: what the hell? <sarahbot> Did I confuse you? % <sarahbot> Someone once said R6RS is only an unbounded number of Scheme language committee debates away. * arcus wonders whether the number of Scheme language committees is countable... <Catfive> arcus - I'm not sure if they're uncountable, but they're definitely irrational. % <neale> my impression so far is that most folks on here like s48 a lot <neale> and nobody has anything bad to say about gauche <Riastradh> Gauche uses Boehm's GC. % I never metacircular evaluator I didn't like -- [[Neil-Van-Dyke]] on #scheme @ (http://www.freenode.org) % that is truly mad-like-a-mad-scientist-bent-on-destorying-the-world-mad -- [[Jonathan-Arkell]] on #scheme (commenting on a discussion about new syntax of perl 6, "magical metanamespaces" in particular) @ (http://www.freenode.org) % <Blicero> what's  in scheme? <Maddas> Blicero: Some Scheme implementations have it as an alias for ( and ) I believe <Blicero> what are they trying to say when they use both () and  in a block of code <Maddas> Uh, nothing special, I think <Maddas> Just trying to make things readable, they claim... <Blicero> but they're using both <Blicero> in the same block of code <Maddas> Yes, that's what makes it readable <Maddas> according to them <Blicero> it makes no sense :| <Maddas> not sense, readable! % <r2q2> mmmdonuts: So, what is it like being on a language committee? <mmmdonuts> r2q2, I enjoy the rides in the black helicopter which picks me up every morning to fly me to a bunker beneath MIT. <arcus> how does a helicopter fly into an underground bunker? <mmmdonuts> Haven't you seen X-Men? <mmmdonuts> (The movie) <arcus> er, yeah, but I forget. <arcus> descending heli-pads? <mmmdonuts> Obviously, you have big sliding camouflaged doors in the ground. <jensa> mmmdonuts, Shiver's clearly put his mark on the Scheme community <r2q2> Wow. That is really cool. <r2q2> MIT is just like hollywood! <r2q2> No wonder tuition is really expensive. <mmmdonuts> Yes, jensa, I forgot to mention that we also carry automatic weapons at all times, in case the Java or C++ guys attempt a takeover. <mmmdonuts> Shivers drops in every now and then to give us training. <r2q2> mmmdonuts: So, Guy Steele must be magneto. <r2q2> And sussman must be professor X. <r2q2> Sweet. <mmmdonuts> I didn't realize they were arch-enemies, but you might be right. <mmmdonuts> (Or old friends on two different sides) <mmmdonuts> Yeah, I guess that makes sense. MIT vs. Sun. <arcus> mmmdonuts: I hope you guys have paid attention to this http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html <arcus> it's really for evil overlords, but there's lots of good advice about bases and minions there. <mmmdonuts> arcus, the evil overlord guidelines came up a while back when we were discussing what the big red button on the front of Darth Vader's suit does. But I hadn't thought of applying them to the R6RS committee. I'll bring that up at the next underground bunker meeting. % On #lisp but still funny nonetheless. <r2q2> Movitz is neat. <r2q2> Lisp on bare metal. that is damn sexy. % <bitwize> I learned something tonight, however: <bitwize> If you eat alone at Applebee's, and you leave your drink behind to go to the restroom, it will no longer be strongly reachable, and hence may be GC'd. % * foof is thoroughly soaked <foof> they need to invent an umbrella that doesn't turn into a pretzel in typhoons <mmmdonuts> no, no - umbrellas should be minimal! <foof> a titanium dome on a stick is minimal! <mmmdonuts> I see umbrellas as more of a device for reasoning about not getting wet. <mmmdonuts> But that titanium dome sounds attractive. We could attach turrets to it, too. <mmmdonuts> The problem is that titanium rules out the transformation mechanism: you can't fold the umbrella. <twb> mmmdonuts: not necessarily. <twb> You could melt it down, for example. <mmmdonuts> Ah yes. A titanium dome, and a portable nuclear-powered furnace. Now *that's* what I call an umbrella. <twb> You could attach treads. % < Riastradh> Damn, I hate it when this happens: I accidentally produced a nearly complete BSD sockets interface in Scheme48. < bitwize> how do you accidentally do that? < Riastradh> I'm still trying to figure that one out. % < SchemerNate> I was driving a RAM 2500 with horse trailer... < peyt> SchemerNate: The cdr? < SchemerNate> yes, the cdr. % < sarahbot> Riastradh is dynamic wind. < kilimanjaro> sarahbot: Riastradh is a modern day Homeric hero. The kind of guy that would walk for 6 years just to get into a fistfight with Larry Wall. % <Riastradh> Most random Scheme tutorials found on the web are worth about as much as a half-eaten penny % <Axioplase> hum, how does one get current-time in chicken ? <gnomon> First, you have to make it swallow a watch - which, although difficult, is less unpleasant than the alternative. <gnomon> Then you need to make it swallow a flashlight. <gnomon> Then you're on your own. % < alaricsp> However, I own the Patterns book, because reading through it is a good litmust test for the design of OO systems. If your system still needs any of the patterns, then it's flawed :-) % <sreeram> Explicit Renaming is certainly worth checking out. <offby1> Rated NC-17. Some scenes of explicit renaming. Under 17 requires accompanying adult or guardian. % <marcotmarcot> Is there a comparision, like, why using common lisp, and why using scheme.. <mbishop> you use common lisp when you're a masochist % <kilimanjaro> zbigniew, how do you like your kittens prepared? <zbigniew> i take them black, like my men. % <j85wilson> I hunger. * j85wilson eats continuations <sjamaan> j85wilson: If you eat last week's continuation, you can eat them again! <j85wilson> that's true. <langmartin> and pretty gross <ap9> i always eat with the current continuation... and when i get bored of eating i'll escape eating and resume <j85wilson> are continuations digestible? <ap9> no, but in some stomachs, i think they are cerealizable % <kilimanjaro> offby1, good point. Paul Graham wants Arc to be a language that lasts 100 years, and I guess the easy way of doing that is releasing it in 99 years. % <kilimanjaro> whee I get another paid Scheme project :) <SeanConnery> kilimanjaro, how do you manage that?! <kilimanjaro> well whenever someone wants me to do something for them I just tell them I'll probably do it in python and then when I write it in scheme I explain that it's sort of like python % <zbigniew> my other car is a cdr <SeanConnery> zbigniew, is that a bumper sticker <zbigniew> no, it's a honda <zbigniew> the Honda CDR ZX-3 % <offby1> eli: so if I wanted to build the docs from source, would I be wasting my time? <eli> offby1: No, it should be pretty easy to do that. Simply running setup-plt with the reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecennnnnnnnnnnnt svn should create them. % <emma> Given an algorithm how do you calculate the time o() and the space o() ? <foof> emma: give a grad student some coffee <apgwoz> are you asking for little-oh or big-oh? <emma> I wasn't aware there was a difference. <apgwoz> big-oh is the worst case... <foof> no, grad students are the worst case % < Cin> shower + beer = godly win < Cin> it's like lazy evaluation and pure-functionalism < Cin> they just fit together % <zbigniew> any scheme system which contains the comment ";;; Chuck Moore's Floppy Boot Code" is worth a look % <guinex> r6rs.org has been down for days. <forcer-> It didn't feel welcome and is now pouting. % * offby1 attaches sensors to his ears <offby1> now, when I wiggle my ears, it inserts a matched pair of parens <offby1> take that, Riastradh * j85wilson cries more. He can't wiggle his ears. <offby1> it's OK; I could adapt it for butt-cheeks, too % <mbishop> "Don't put closing (or opening) parens on a line of their own. They get lonely easily." <mbishop> Please, think of the parens :( <Discoloda> i dont care if they are lonely, then they know how i feel % <karmichael> question: are continuations the same as coroutines? <gnomon> No. <karmichael> how are they related? <kilimanjaro> sort of like the relationship between a proton and a duck <kilimanjaro> except probably with more love than a proton has for a duck <XTL> all the quarking? % <kilimanjaro> I think Riastradh should make offby1 his deputy <offby1> do I gotta wear a gun? I'm scared of guns <Prael> offby1: You can keep the bullet in your shirt pocket <offby1> it'll protect me in case anyone throws a Bible at me % <jcowan> Sometimes debugging consists of observing that the computer is on fire. % <zarchne> A friend of mine used to have the domain name "umop-ap.com", with the idea that he would then have the UUCP address umop-ap!sdn. I guess the novelty wore off after 8-10 years... % <Daemmerung> Also, every time you use an unnecessary side effect, God kills a kitten. <pizza_> there's that religious argument again <Daemmerung> I'm thinking of the kittens, is all. % <vixey> why is it called foof-loop though? <Adamant> cause foof made it <vixey> what do you mean "made"? <foof> 10,000 years ago I breathed on a butterfly, causing a chain reaction that indirectly led to its creation. % <\banlist> Damemmerung, if the function is strictly tail-recursive then you can replace the call to this function by the goto to this function <Daemmerung> Or by the potato this function. <gnomon> Or by the yam to this function, under some particularly permissive systems. <Daemmerung> call-with-free-french-fries-with-this-order <offby1> someone has been in the likka cabinet <Daemmerung> yambda: the ultimate side dish <gnomon> Computo, ergo spud! <gnomon> I compute, therefore I yam! * offby1 backs away slowly <gnomon> offby1, likka? I barely knowa! % <zbigniew> fib unto others as you would have them fib unto you <XTL> fib not lest you be fibbed yourself <zbigniew> ask not what your country can fib for you, but what you can fib for your country % The Joker: [to Dent/Two-Face] You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how, pathetic, their attempts to control things really are. -- The Dark Knight %